now it gets difficult: beijing paralympics begin today

The 2008 Paralympics begin today.

It wasn't at all difficult for me to boycott the Olympics. I was so disgusted by Beijing, the IOC and everything surrounding the Games, that I had no desire to watch anything.

The Paralympics - the Olympics for athletes with disabilities - are different. I love these games. I know dozens of former and current Paralympic athletes, and I've been involved with disability sports, through my writing, for more than 20 years. I've also just spent a good chunk of my summer talking to North American athletes who are competing in Beijing. I can't help but feel hopeful for them, and eager to see their results.

But I won't.

Well, I will need to look up some results to slug into stories, but I won't do any more than is necessary.

Rather than try to explain why I love the Paralympics so much, I'll reference an old story of mine. I wrote it for Sportsjones.com, which was a terrific, in-depth online magazine about sports and society. Naturally it was bought out by a huge commercial sports publisher, then immediately killed. This is what happens to interesting writing ventures that need commercial funding. You can see the front page of Sportsjone's final edition to see the kinds of stories they ran.

When the Paralympics were in Atlanta in 1996, I wrote about them extensively. Leading up to Atlanta, I wrote a series of stories for New Mobility magazine, then covered the Games themselves, a crazy, exhausting and wildly enjoyable week, and a highlight of my writing career. I also sold a fair amount of Paralympic-related stories to more mainstream newspapers and magazines. It was a sizeable leap in my resume.

Four years later, for the Sydney Paralympics, I did some preview stories, but by that time I had tired of writing the kinds of stories that most mainstream venues want. I can write the overcoming-obstacles, doesn't-let-disability-stop-him story in my sleep. Every Paralympic athlete has overcome tremendous obstacles. It comes with the territory. On its own, as writing material, it's just not that interesting to me anymore.

So in 2000, the only Paralympic stories I wanted to write were ones that no one wanted to publish - until I found Sportsjones. Allan wrote for them, too, which was fun.

Here's the Sportsjones story (in pdf). It's long, but not as long as the page numbers would indicate; many pages have only a line or two of copy.

In response to this story, I received the best blurb of my entire writing career thus far (scroll down to "more information").

The blurb writer is the indomitable Russ Kick, who edits the "Disinformation" series: You Are Being Lied To, Everything You Know Is Wrong and Abuse Your Illusions, among other books. Shameless self-promotion, yes, but praise like this is very rare in a writer's life!

I also received some very negative feedback from families involved in the Special Olympics, who didn't care for my characterization of that event. That was interesting, too.

If you do read the Sportsjones pdf, there is good news. By 2004, the USOC was shamed into doing the right thing. Funding has been restored, and vertical integration is standard now, in both the US and Canada.

I wish my friends in Beijing a lot of luck. I hope it's a great experience for them. I'm sorry I won't be watching.

bob rae... and who else?

Hey, I had a letter in the Sunday Toronto Star and I didn't even know it. It's here. Many thanks to Bob Rae for writing that excellent op-ed.

Too bad the rest of the Liberals are so quiet on this issue. A majority of MPs vote for something, a minority government ignores it, and the Liberals don't make a peep. You'd think they were taking lessons from the Democrats.

st. john's

We were up at 5:00 for our 7:30 flight, which was an uneventful not-quite three hours. In Pearson, I saw a newspaper over a man's shoulder, with a headline reading "send him back to pay his dues". I did a double-take, and realized it was the National Post (for non-Canadian readers: a right-wing rag), a dueling viewpoint they have already run online, Corey Glass vs. columnist Jonathan Kay. The man reading and his wife noticed we were talking about them, so I asked what paper it was and explained I was involved in the issue. As we were getting ready to board, the woman asked if I wanted the paper. As he was giving me the section, the man was eager to tell me that it gave "both sides of the story," in a way that told us where he stood. After all, he is reading the Post. But I called the Campaign - at least we have a hard copy of it now. Allan says we'll see them in Gros Morne; he's calling it now.

The airport is not far from downtown, and we drove right in and found our hotel. On our way there, we drove through the main drag of downtown St. John's, Duckworth Street. I noticed the two pubs my Newfie Campaign Friend recommended, one that has live music every night.

The hotel is a "Hometel" - rooms in brownstone houses. It's a much nicer room that we expected, stylish and comfy, with free phone, internet, parking and a hot breakfast. It's right at the base of Signal Hill.

After getting settled in a bit, we went downtown for lunch at a pub - fish and chips, of course. I have no idea if the fish actually comes from here anymore, but it seems like the thing to do. We also had local beer, Quidi Vidi (pronounced "Kiddy Viddy"). My pan-fried cod came with "scrunchions," which are diced bits of fried pork rinds. Kind of like salty fried fat.

From there we drove up Signal Hill, which overlooks St. John's Harbour, with the city on one side and the Atlantic on the other. The approach to the harbour is a narrows, with cliffs rising on both side; it's easy to see why this was such an important strategic point.

I thought Signal Hill got its name because it's the spot where Marconi received the first Transatlantic radio signal, but the signalling dates much farther back, to the signal flags (a redundancy, I think - the flags were called signals) that were raised to communicate from ship to shore. There's a little look-out building that looks like a mini-castle, and the remains of the fort, powder magazine and cannons. This is all perched on high cliffs, the kind you always see in photos of Newfoundland. It reminded us both of Ireland.

The whole point is a national park, and there are trails along the cliffs. We walked some, mostly to get good views. It's a great view of St. John's. The building where Marconi received that radio signal is gone (burned in a fire), but there's a plaque marking the spot.

We were tired and not up for a big hike, but on the way out of Signal Hill, we stopped at the visitor's centre, which was very nice. It tells the history of the hill in terms of its military and communications significance. And guess who we saw there? The National Post readers from the airport in Toronto. They didn't see us. Gros Morne? We'll see.

From there we went back downtown for coffee, then we were going to hang out in a pub, but suddenly realized how tired we were. We picked up some food and went back to the room, thinking we would join tonight's Red Sox game in progress on our computers. It was 7:30; game time is at 7:00. But our laptops said 6:00. Duh: time zone! We're on Newfoundland time, and we didn't miss a pitch. Pub tomorrow night, tonight we're crashed.

* * * *

People here are extremely friendly, as advertised. If this is what they're like in St. John's will they be pathologically friendly in the rest of the province?

Weather watch: it's nice so far, mostly sunny or a bit overcast, and the occasional mist. I was too warm in a long-sleeved t-shirt and windbreaker. Everyone we speak to says we've brought the sun; it's been raining solidly and cold for weeks. We have tons of stuff with us, many more clothes than we would normally pack, but when you have to prepare for heat, cold, rain and sun, what else can you do?

* * * *

I can scarcely describe how happy I am about this big writing assignment that fell from the sky last night. My original plan of how I was paying for this trip fell through a while back. It was too late to cancel (nonrefundable air and rental car) and I knew I'd figure out a way to pay for it over time, although it could potentially take quite a long time. Goddess knows it wouldn't be the first trip we paid for six or eight months after it ended. My plan was to spend July trying to drum up some decent paid writing work. Then the night before we leave, some comes to me!

Spinal Network is a very well-known and highly regarded resource guide for people with spinal cord injuries. It was created by Sam Maddox, a pioneer in the field; Sam also began New Mobility, the magazine I've been associated with for a long time. Spinal Network, New Mobility and now Kids On Wheels (which I helped create) are now all published by the same group.

Ten years ago, the current publishers of Spinal Network put out a new edition, and I edited the Sports chapter. Then, some years later, Kids On Wheels was born, the first-ever resource guide for children who use wheelchairs and their parents. I wrote the sports and recreation chapter for that, then wrote and edited for the magazine before I recently gave it up.

So last night, the editorial director emailed me: they are doing a completely new edition of Spinal Network, a thorough overhaul, am I interested in working on it? I'll be re-writing and editing the Sports section. It's going to be a lot of work - work that I will really enjoy, and which should pay nicely. I'm excited! But right now the best thing is the financial concern has been lifted from my mind, just as I start the trip. Lovely.

* * * *

I called home, just to satisfy my mind that the Katherine The Dogsitter had arrived. They were all outside, doing fine. I miss Tala! (Don't worry, I miss Cody a little, which is more than she misses me.)

Pictures of St. John's are here.

wmtc on common dreams

My recent post about not watching the Beijing Olympics, with some slight tweaks, is now on Common Dreams.

globe and mail letter on international women's day

Yesterday I saw this in the Globe and Mail letters:

Why isn't International Women's Day on Mother's Day? Everyone has one, and it's better parade weather.
Barbara Klunder
Toronto

Today the paper ran my reply:

Letter writer Barbara Klunder (March 10) asks why International Women's Day is not celebrated on Mother's Day.

[On March 8, 1908, 15,000 female garment workers marched through New York City demanding shorter hours, better pay and voting rights. Their activism would spur the labour movement and the movement for universal suffrage.]

The roots of International Women's Day are socialist, feminist and activist. Mother's Day is a feel-good celebration of motherhood. International Women's Day is about all women - whether or not they are mothers - changing the world.

They edited out the middle paragraph that explains why March 8th was chosen, but I think it makes the point anyway.

Apparently the letter-writer doesn't perceive the difference between "woman" and "mother". That letter is a tiny example of how people automatically equate being female with being a mother, and how women are defined by their reproduction.

let them stay: war resisters on common dreams

Common Dreams ran my piece about the war resisters. I'm thrilled to have the opportunity to reach a wider audience on this issue.

If you've come here through Common Dreams, welcome. No new post today, as I can't think about anything but today's event.

Don't forget to write your letters! Thank you.

am i on a roll or what?

I have a short letter in today's Globe and Mail. Since letters to the editor are a paid subscription page, I'll reprint it here.

Your article 72-Hour Party People (Travel, Jan. 16) asks, "Who has the time and freedom to take a two-week vacation any more?" Anyone who can't rearrange his or her life to take two consecutive weeks of vacation should think seriously about reorganizing their priorities.

No outrage, just a thought.

Our own vacation plans just increased from ten days to a full two weeks. Newfoundland is so big, the distances are so great, that ten days would have meant leaving too much out.

harlem of the north, part 2

I have a letter in today's Toronto Star about this. Just a short version of yesterday's blog post.

They edited my "30 years" to say "a good many years". Let's just say many, many, many.

chantal petitclerc in new mobility

My feature on Chantal Petitclerc in New Mobility is out. If you're interested, you can read it here.

Like my recent story on Canadian MP Steven Fletcher, this is written for a wheelchair-using audience, so hopefully the trite "isn't it great what people with disabilities can do" angle is absent.

Petitclerc is New Mobility's 2007 Person of the Year, the first who is not a US citizen. My quest to bring Canadian content to New Mobility and Kids On Wheels continues!

Writing about Petitclerc was really fun. She's a fascinating person, certainly the most well-rounded athlete I've ever interviewed. This is a cover story, so I'm eager to see her beautiful smile lighting up the cover. I haven't even received my copies yet!

research question

You all had some great ideas for questions to ask Steven Fletcher. What would you like me to ask Chantal Petitclerc?

Petitclerc, in case you don't know her, is a Canadian wheelchair racer. She holds a huge pile of Paralympic and Olympic medals; this year alone she broke three world records on the track.

New Mobility has asked me to write about Petitclerc for a very special story. What would you like to know?

steven fletcher in new mobility

If anyone is interested in reading my profile of Canadian MP Steven Fletcher, which ran in the September issue of New Mobility magazine, here it is.

I'm not thrilled with some of the editing - I think the piece I turned in was a bit livelier - but other than that, I'm happy with it. I very much enjoyed interviewing Fletcher. Although I don't agree with his politics, I fully admire the man.

I very rarely feel sorry for the people with disabilities I interview. They lead full lives, and their burdens are not necessarily greater than those of non-disabled people, just different. I've gone beyond disability rights; I subscribe to disability pride.

Fletcher, however - like Brooke Ellison, who I've written about several times - evokes different feelings for me.

Being unable to walk does not seem particularly tragic to me, and to many wheelchair-users. The circumstances that result in disability are often traumatic, but life itself may be very ordinary. In a fully accessible world, wheeling is a perfectly good way to get around. (That's a central tenet of the independent living movement: it's the barriers that need fixing, not us.)

But imagine not being able to move any part of your body - not an arm, not a hand, not a finger. Imagine being a fully functioning head on an inert body. Someone like Rick Hansen - or even Sam Sullivan, who is fully independent - is in a very different position than Fletcher or Ellison. But Fletcher and Ellison have forged rich and meaningful lives for themselves, and they want to help others do the same. I deeply admire them both.

So here it is. You might be interested in how a profile like this is written for a disability audience. NM is written for - and mostly by, but not in my case - people who use wheelchairs.

steven fletcher in new mobility

My story on Steven Fletcher for New Mobility magazine is out.

They didn't choose it for the online edition, so perhaps I'll pdf it and post it myself. I like the story, and since it's someone Canadians know, you might be interested in how a disability-lifestyle magazine approaches the subject.

letter: green cities

I have a letter in today's Toronto Star. A recent article about Toronto's environmental plans looked at three other cities: San Francisco, Chicago and New York.

Perhaps the writer just wanted to use three US cities, or perhaps it's de rigueur to compare Toronto to New York. But New York's environmental policies are so weak, that the article cites Mayor Bloomberg's proposals, none of which exist yet - and many of which, knowing New York, may never exist. I wrote this.

If Toronto wants to emulate New York City's successes, it shouldn't look at proposals for programs that don't exist, and may never, like Mayor Michael Bloomberg's proposed vehicle congestion tax.

Where New York should and can be imitated is its massive public transportation infrastructure. Driving into Manhattan's business district is an unnecessary luxury. Owning a car at all in New York is a luxury, not a necessity. Can Toronto say that?

I think a vehicle congestion charge is an important and necessary idea. I'm sure you know that Ken Livingstone, the forward-thinking mayor of London, pioneered its use. Its success led Livingstone to push on, introducing a pilot program to one area of London, in which drivers pay tolls based on vehicle emissions.

I'd like to see New York City ban private vehicles from downtown and midtown Manhattan altogether. Buses and cabs only. I've been saying this for years.

But London and New York City both have an incredible amount of public transit. How can Toronto reduce vehicular use in the city without offering enough alternatives? Toronto needs more subways, and the suburbs need more trains.

And if you want to make a green city, don't look to New York as your model.

he is tyler

Last week I had the opportunity to interview a young man named Tyler, a high school senior from Waterloo, Iowa.

For his Eagle Scout project, Tyler made this video. Check it out. (Running time 11 minutes.)

I'm Tyler.

on luck

In an earlier post about our work life in Canada, I wrote:

People often note that I am "lucky" because my job gives me the time and freedom to pursue my writing career. That irritates me, because it's not a function of luck.

Then I wrote a capsule version of how I got to this place, in terms of my writing career and my day-jobs, which involved huge amounts of hard work, persistence and drive. Then I said:

Of course, we, all of us, are fortunate to achieve what we strive for, and you know I am grateful for good fortune. You can work hard at something and still not achieve it, through no fault of your own. (I ought to know that: I have two unpublished novels.) But I seriously bristle at the implication that I accidentally fell into my life. I didn't. I built it.

Some readers questioned my downplaying of the role of luck, citing luck or the lack of it in their own and others' lives.

That made me think about why the "you're so lucky" comment irritates me so much, and the role of luck in our lives generally.

I can't count how many times I've written on this blog how fortunate I feel, how lucky I consider myself to be, and that has expressed only a fraction of my feelings.

I regard myself as very privileged. I feel extremely fortunate in all the major, important parts of life. Hey, I'm a woman, and I am Jewish. How lucky am I to be born in North America in the latter half of the 20th Century?

I am lucky that my body is in generally good working order (something I wish all women realized that when they beat themselves up over the size of their hips or thighs).

I'm lucky to have grown up with one parent who gave me unconditional love and support. I wasn't so lucky with the other parent, but lots of people never have parental love and support at all. I have family - siblings, sibs-in-laws, nieces, nephews - who love me. I have a life partner and soulmate. That is very lucky, but I will say that our happiness is not a function of luck. Meeting the right person is luck; building and maintaining a relationship takes hard work and commitment.

And I'm lucky to have found meaning in life, through my writing and my activism.

When I think of the sum of all this good fortune, I believe I am, to paraphrase my favourite baseball player, the luckiest person on earth.

In the bad luck I've had - I am a rape survivor, I had an abusive parent and quite a bit of craziness growing up - I was still lucky. I had help and support, and I came through in one piece. I turned the damage into growth. Some of that was luck. Some of it was hard work, and my refusal to yield.

So let's call all this big-picture luck. In the big picture, I've been damned lucky.

The "you're so lucky" comment that I find so irritating attributes things for which I've worked to what I'll call small-picture luck.

Having a three-day-a-week job so I can have more time to write was not luck. If a job was there when I looked for it, that was luck - and I could sure use some of that right now. But arranging my life to be able to write wasn't luck. It was a deliberate choice.

Finding a portable, marketable skill and becoming very good at it - so that if a job existed, I could get it - wasn't luck. Right now, I'm brainstorming for other suitable income-earning ideas, in case I can't find a legal doc-pro job that works for me. I'm not waiting around to get lucky.

If you're hard-working and persistent like I am, then you've known lots of people who are lazy, or mired in inertia, or who quit at the first obstacle, and then blame the world around them for their failure to get what they want. And those are usually the people who pronounce me lucky.

I didn't grow up this way. I was told I was "smart but lazy". All through grade school and into high school, I sailed through, getting top grades without trying. There were plenty of things I couldn't do (sports, advanced math), so I simply didn't do them. (What passed for parental advice in my home was, "You can't be good at everything.") I did what came easy and the rest I let slide.

I didn't discover the motivation to work hard until university. Maybe that's why I value my own hard work and persistence so much: it's an acquired skill. (I just thought of that, right now. The power of blogging.)

Then there's the other side of the coin. You can be hard-working and persistent and come up empty-handed. That's one of the hardest lessons I've learned.

I rearranged my life so I could write, which included incurring parental disapproval and entering into voluntarily poverty. While working as a nanny and a proofreader, I wrote a book, then did everything I could to get it published. Then I wrote another one, and did the same. The first was a "starter novel," I'd have been shocked if it was published. The second deserved to be published. Still does. Yet neither are.

I am persistent to a fault. Giving up is very hard for me. But I had to let go. I had publishers tell me, "15 years ago we would have snapped this up, but it's not in style now..." My agent told me houses that used to publish 30 young-adult titles a year were now publishing 3. The book never got published. I have to think that was bad luck.

[However, had it been published, if someone had said, "You're lucky your book is published," I would have burst a blood vessel. Small-picture luck to finally get that much-needed break, yes. But that break would have been just one step along the path I had paved myself.]

So I kept writing, and eventually my writing was recognized. Someone offered me an opportunity. I took it. I built on that. I tried different kinds of writing, and different venues. And slowly I became a working, published writer.

I needed a break, for sure. But I got the break by writing, by putting my work out there, by persisting. Without my own hard work and persistence, that break never would have found me. It took a lot of work to get to the point where that small-picture luck was relevant.

You can do all the right things and never get the small-picture luck. And apparently you can do nothing right and get lucky anyway. Life is not fair. The world is not a garden of just rewards. The industrious fail and the indolent prosper. That's the annoying truth.

But when you've worked hard and gotten what you worked for, you want to believe your choices and actions had something to do with it. Maybe it's an illusion I cling to. Or maybe the apparent absence of luck is an excuse to do nothing.

i hate money, part 2

In comments here, I mentioned the inconvenient truth of my and Allan's life in Canada: we now work full-time to earn what we used to earn in a 24-hour work-week.

In our last jobs in New York, we worked two 12-hour days. (Allan also worked the major holidays.) Now we work three 12-hour days and take home about the same income.

My friend Dean, a long-time wmtc reader, asked:

How does the lower salary affect your standard of living? Did you know before you moved to Canada that you would have to work longer hours to make as much money? Do you feel that this is a drawback to living in Canada?

We did know this before we moved to Canada.

Before our first visit to Toronto, I emailed people at the big legal staffing agencies there (here!), and set up appointments to meet them when we were in town. (Amazingly, this was after we filed our applications to immigrate!)

The most important things to find out were (a) were there jobs in our field, that is, do the large law firms in Toronto use word-processing or document-production specialists as they do in New York, (b) were there jobs with non-traditional hours, like evenings or weekends, and (c) what we could expect to earn. All our questions were answered, and we were thrilled.

However... the last jobs we held in New York City - which we never would have left, as long as we lived there - were very unusual. We had both (and my insistence, I will add) jockeyed our way into better and better jobs, until we were at the very top level of responsibility and pay scale for our positions. We knew we'd never see the likes of those jobs again.

And we had a rent-stabilized apartment in Manhattan. If you've never lived in New York City, it's difficult to understand what that means. A rent-stabilized apartment means you're renting at a rate far (huge emphasis there) below market value, and your rent can only increase a certain percentage each year. It's an incredibly coveted position to be in. It means you never move. I always said, we'll live in this apartment as long as we live in New York. If we leave this apartment, it means we're leaving the city forever.

What does this mean for our current standard of living, relative to our last years in New York?

We had a lot more disposable income then. We spent very freely, which in New York is way fun. For much of that time, we were also burdened by debt (because we didn't always have good jobs!), so a lot of our money went to the Black Hole of Visa.

But, when we decided to move to Canada, we were able to get out of debt and save money with very little hardship or inconvenience. We couldn't travel, which was tough for me, but how many working people can travel and save money at the same time? Other than that, and foregoing some theatre tickets and a few other luxuries, we paid off our debt and banked lots of money every month without too much sacrifice.

Now our budget is tighter, and we live closer to our income level. This is not a big deal, as we've really lost interest in a lot of the things we used to spend our money on in New York. We rent a three-bedroom house for only slightly more than we used to rent a large two-bedroom apartment, and we're much more interested in hanging out in our backyard than in going out for expensive dinners or buying tickets to shows. Money is not extremely tight. We're comfortable, we have fun, but we're on a budget.

Do I feel this is a drawback to living in Canada? I don't think it's a function of Canada versus the US. It depends on your field and where you live, on both ends. Nick, of Life Without Borders, is a social worker. I believe in Toronto he earns nearly double what he did in Denver. Many fields pay about the same. I don't know about anyone else, although I'd be interested to find out. Coming from New York skews the picture further, as salaries tend to be higher there, but for most people, the cost of living is also unusually high.

How did this affect our decision to move to Canada? It didn't.

Our day-jobs are on the support level. They're not career jobs for which one would move or not move. They're jobs that enable our lives, not jobs we live for. We knew we'd have to work more after moving, and we were dreading it, but that was a minor feeling compared to how much we wanted to leave the US.

The thing we were dreading most was possibly having to work a conventional Monday-Friday 9-5 schedule. So far, except for some very temporary situations, we've been able to avoid that.

I comfort myself with the idea - part probability, part rationalization - that my job in New York would not have lasted forever anyway. I worked for a notoriously cheap (although filthy rich) law firm. It's highly possible that at some point they would have saved money by letting me go and hiring someone else at two-thirds my pay rate.

I will say that working three long days instead of two long days was easier in theory than in reality. I'm almost 46 years old and I have a health condition that requires me to pace all my activities and get a certain amount of rest. I don't have the energy I once did to work, write and have a life outside of those two requirements. Most of the time, I feel pressed for time, and feel I'm not doing many of the things I'd like to. (I know many people share those feelings for various reasons.)

But the way I see it, if you really want to make a Big Life Change, there is always some down-side. No BLC is 100% positive. The negative might not bother you that much, but it exists to some degree. I wouldn't not make a BLC - one that I much desired, one that both my partner and I felt was right in so many ways - because I had a good word-processing job. One, that job may not last forever. But two, and more importantly, that job is just a way to earn a living. It's a portable skill (one reason I chose it in the first place), it's replaceable, and it can be done elsewhere.

One last thing, to answer an inevitable question: we will never find jobs in Toronto that pay what those New York jobs did. We're at the top of our pay scale right now, and that's not going to change.

* * * *

On this subject, I have a related pet peeve.

People often note that I am "lucky" because my job gives me the time and freedom to pursue my writing career. That irritates me, because it's not a function of luck.

Ever since, a few years after graduating university, I decided to give up a more conventional career* and dedicate myself more seriously to writing, I've held an array of different jobs. I've been a nanny, a proofreader, a house cleaner, a personal assistant to a crazy artist, a paid political organizer, a secretary, a data-entry operator, a teacher at a youth centre and at an alternative school, and probably a few other things I've forgotten.

I heard there was well-paid work for legal word-processors, I taught myself WordPerfect on a friend's home computer (the only person I knew who had one in those days!), I lied about my experience, and got temp work. From there, I became very good at what I did, and very ambitious, and jockeyed my way into better and better positions, always seeking more income for fewer hours.

Allan was waiting tables in a cafe and working in a deli. I taught him what I knew, we bought him some clothes, and he found a job as a legal secretary. As the years went on, I strongly encouraged him to also look for jobs with fewer hours. He was able to cut back from a five-day work-week to four, then to three 12-hour days, and finally to our last great two-day-week spots.

Of course, we, all of us, are fortunate to achieve what we strive for, and you know I am grateful for good fortune. You can work hard at something and still not achieve it, through no fault of your own. (I ought to know that: I have two unpublished novels.) But I seriously bristle at the implication that I accidentally fell into my life. I didn't. I built it.




* The "career" I left was already an awkward step towards creating my own life. I was working in the Off-Broadway theatre rather than attending law school as I was "supposed to". (That is, I was rejecting certain family expectations.) I made no money, met great people, had a lot of fun, put up with a lot of bullshit, and ultimately realized that if I wanted to write, I had to make a BLC. I had to find a way to support myself that left me time and mental energy to do what I most wanted to do: write.

three questions for wmtc readers

I will be writing about Steven Fletcher, the Member of Parliament who is a quadriplegic, for New Mobility magazine.

What questions would you like me to ask Mr Fletcher?

Keep in mind I'm writing for people who use wheelchairs. Questions about how he conducts the tasks of daily life are not very interesting to our readers.

Other than that, what are you curious about? If you were reading a profile of Mr Fletcher, what would you like to know? Nothing is off-limits.

* * * *

I'm using the excuse of this story assignment to plan a trip to Ottawa! I usually have to interview by phone, so this is a great opportunity to turn in a better story (in-person interviews are always superior), and see the capital of my new country at the same time.

Any suggestions for what we should see and do in Ottawa?

I'll pick up a guidebook and also do some research online, but I'd love to hear your ideas, tips and pointers. I'm thinking history, museums, walking, dining. Standard tourism and off-the-beaten-track are both welcome.

* * * *

One of my goals this year - and hopefully, continuing into the future - is to go hiking more often. I find that nothing relaxes and rejuvenates me more than walking in the woods. It's great exercise and stress relief for body and mind.

In New York it was always a big production to rent a car and get out of town, and we managed it once or twice a year. Now that we're car owners, I want to do it more often.

In our first months here, we hiked in Forks of the Credit. We did the same thing last fall, but just once, and both times in the same place. I need more places to go! Where do you suggest?

Here's our criteria. We're talking walking, not climbing. Some hills are OK, but rock- or mountain-climbing is not. It has to be dog-friendly; leash laws are cool, but "no dogs allowed" is not. It should be within a two-hour drive from the GTA, preferably closer.

I know there are many places within Toronto where you can walk and forget you're in a city. New York has a few, too, and I love that. But this is also about driving into the country, stopping at a roadhouse for lunch, maybe poking around a small town. So as wonderful as the trails and ravines of Toronto may be, that's not what I'm looking for.

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OK, Steven Fletcher, Ottawa, hiking. Your go. Thanks in advance.

to the editor

I have a letter in today's Toronto Star. It's an edited, but still accurate, version of what I submitted:

Although your recent article about purchasing a puppy tries to emphasize responsible pet ownership, there are some important omissions.

There's a reason pet store chains such as PetSmart, PetCetera and PetCo do not sell puppies. Puppies sold through retail outlets, such as mall pet stores, usually come from "puppy mills", cruel places of forced breeding and shockingly inhumane conditions.

The only responsible way to buy a puppy is through a responsible breeder. But better yet, prospective pet owners should be encouraged to adopt. Web sites such as Petfinder.com make it easy to find the right pet for your particular needs. Thousands of wonderful dogs and cats need homes, and - as anyone who has a "rescue" can attest - adopted animals make the best pets.

Further, placing an article about pet ownership in the Shopping section gives the false and dangerous impression that dogs are items to be acquired. They are not. They are living creatures who need permanent, loving homes.

what's next

Recently I achieved some clarity on a dilemma about my time, my writing, and the direction to take in the near future.

Here's the background. I write for a magazine called Kids On Wheels, a unique, progressive magazine for young people who use wheelchairs. I'm one of three writer/editors who comprise the core of the magazine; we've all been with Kids On Wheels since its first days as a resource guide.

Like all my writing, it's something I do out of interest, passion, and dedication. I do get paid, but a young, specialized magazine cannot afford very much. Over the course of the year, the fees add up, but it's less than half of what I would earn from a large commercial magazine. On the other hand, my experiences with large commercial magazines have ranged from frustrating to hellish.

I like to be paid for my writing, but that's not my primary goal. If all I wanted from my writing was income, I'm sure I could be writing full-time, but my goals are more complex, and more elusive. I want to educate, inspire and entertain my readers (preferably all at the same time); I want to promote progressive values; I want to write about subjects I care deeply about; I want to challenge myself as a writer.

It's a tall order. When I can find the right mix, it's fabulous. When I can't, I enjoy the free time. I no longer take writing gigs just for money, because I learned that, for me, it just isn't worth it. If I'm going to do something only for money, I'll work overtime on my day-job. It's a lot easier.

Kids On Wheels has been going really well, but it's becoming routine. It's begun to feel like a poorly paid part-time job.

So here's the crux of the dilemma. Because KOW doesn't pay very much, I have to work full-time hours (which I do in a three-day work week). But KOW takes up enough time that I don't have adequate time to develop other writing projects. And now that KOW has become routine, it's no longer satisfying enough to be my only writing.

Last year I approached our publisher about turning my freelance position into a half-time salaried job, which would enable me to drop one day a week from my day-job. As I suspected, the funds just aren't there. I go back a long ways with this company - I've written for the adult wheelchair-user magazine, New Mobility, for 10 years, and I know they treat me fairly. They're not bullshitting me, they pay what they can - but that isn't much.

For many months I've been letting the issue sit on the mental back burner, knowing that eventually I would know what to do. That's what's great about getting older, for me. Questions that would have once made me anxious and worried as I tried to force a decision now just simmer away and let me know when they are cooked. (Sorry about that awful cooking metaphor!) I guess that means that I trust my process.

So a few days ago - just before the clock started ticking on my day-job - I knew what to do.

I have to stop writing for KOW, or at least greatly cut back my involvement. It's sad, because I love the magazine and I contribute a lot to it, both in writing and ideas. But it's time to move on. I have several ideas that I need to try. I don't know if any of them will come to fruition, but that's a separate issue, and mostly not in my control. I need to give some other things a shot.

I just turned in my assignments for the spring issue, and the summer issue will be my last, at least for the foreseeable future.

This morning there was, perhaps, a bit of serendipity. In today's Star, there's a big story about girls' issues, which is really a PR piece for a new girls' magazine and website. It sounds perfect for me, and it's perfect timing. They've just launched, and I'm just freeing up time.

game

Tonight we're going to a hockey game, Mississauga Ice Dogs at home against the Barrie Colts. We went to one Ice Dogs game last year, and this will probably be our one game this year. We'd gladly go to a few more, but they're usually playing during our work hours.

This game is a great coincidence for me. Between periods, there'll be a sledge hockey demonstration by a local junior team. I interviewed two of the players and their parents for the upcoming issue of Kids On Wheels. One of the dads is the coach, and he invited me to this game, which happened to be on a Thursday night. They'll have an information table set up, and I'll stop by with a stack of KOW magazines. I very rarely meet any of the kids I write about, so this is a treat.

It's been my personal mission to include some Canadian content in every issue of Kids On Wheels, but this last one got a little out of control. We try for geographic balance, but it's more important to balance gender, ages and disabilities. Trying for the right mix of ingredients, I inadvertently ended up with half the magazine being Canadians. So far my editor hasn't complained. Our secret march to world domination continues.

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Don't miss this comment from an ex-pat Brit in the previous thread. It's important.